When a kangaroo goes bad

Kylie, the criminal kangaroo,
pockets some things she oughtn’t to.

A Vegemite sandwich, a kazoo,
mini bottles of hotel shampoo…

Her paws are quick and she knows kung fu.
Don't leave her alone with your pet cockatoo.

She's a burglar full of derring-do.
She fills her pouch 'til it's busting through

with watches she's pilfered in plain view
and wallets she stole, leaving nary a clue.

Careful – her next victim might be you!
Kylie, the criminal kangaroo.

Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain


The handle’s cracked; the spokes are askew.
The color’s faded; it smells of mildew.

The fabric’s torn; it gets blown inside-out.
The metal’s rusty; the thread's falling out.

The button won't open; nor will it shut.
The whole thing is dirty; the Velcro's kaput.

But before you toss it, remember this one thing:
when it’s raining hard, it's better than nothing!

Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain

Shell shock

Annabelle strolled along the beach
until she found a shell.

Its color was a lovely peach;
it was quite large, as well.

She held it right against her head,
to try to hear the sea.

A crab came out, pinched her ear and said:
"Don't you eavesdrop on me!"

Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain

Soap opera star

As I was singing in the bath,
shampoo got in my eyes

and I hit some high, high notes
much to my surprise!

Whether my song earns your Bravo!
or if it hurts your ears…

singing that soap opera – well,
it moved me to tears!

Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain

The patient bacteria*

When Chinese chicken hit the floor,
we gathered right away.

But germs know the 10-second rule;
we live it every day.

One second turns to two then three…
time slowly ticks on by.

Count four, then five Mississippi -
and still, we all comply.

Six, then seven and eight - a wait
long as the Amazon.

Nine…aww, man! He picked it up!
So long, our sweet Szechuan.

* Author’s note: biologists say food 
gets contaminated the moment it touches 
germs or bacteria. Sad, sad news for 
us clumsy eaters.

Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain