Kylie, the criminal kangaroo, pockets some things she oughtn’t to. A Vegemite sandwich, a kazoo, mini bottles of hotel shampoo… Her paws are quick and she knows kung fu. Don't leave her alone with your pet cockatoo. She's a burglar full of derring-do. She fills her pouch 'til it's busting through with watches she's pilfered in plain view and wallets she stole, leaving nary a clue. Careful – her next victim might be you! Kylie, the criminal kangaroo. Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain
Dumbrella
The handle’s cracked; the spokes are askew. The color’s faded; it smells of mildew. The fabric’s torn; it gets blown inside-out. The metal’s rusty; the thread's falling out. The button won't open; nor will it shut. The whole thing is dirty; the Velcro's kaput. But before you toss it, remember this one thing: when it’s raining hard, it's better than nothing! Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain
Shell shock
Annabelle strolled along the beach until she found a shell. Its color was a lovely peach; it was quite large, as well. She held it right against her head, to try to hear the sea. A crab came out, pinched her ear and said: "Don't you eavesdrop on me!" Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain
Soap opera star
As I was singing in the bath, shampoo got in my eyes and I hit some high, high notes much to my surprise! Whether my song earns your Bravo! or if it hurts your ears… singing that soap opera – well, it moved me to tears! Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain
The patient bacteria*
When Chinese chicken hit the floor, we gathered right away. But germs know the 10-second rule; we live it every day. One second turns to two then three… time slowly ticks on by. Count four, then five Mississippi - and still, we all comply. Six, then seven and eight - a wait long as the Amazon. Nine…aww, man! He picked it up! So long, our sweet Szechuan. * Author’s note: biologists say food gets contaminated the moment it touches germs or bacteria. Sad, sad news for us clumsy eaters. Copyright 2020 - Elayne Crain